Finding Love in 5 Steps
Here are the big 5 which, I believe, are absolutely necessary to finding your love this year:
Love Basic # 1
You can probably guess what your best accessory is, can’t you ? It is your smile – a smile is non-optional equipment in finding love. It communicates that you are friendly and approachable and probably caring and happy. These are traits that give you draw and are highly desired in a mate.
You don’t smile ? That’s no excuse – start now to practice on furniture, then small furry animals and work your way up to adults and members of the gender you wish to attract.
Love Basic # 2
Know that anger plays no part in love. I am not talking about healthy anger which is a warning signal letting you know when to back off or speak up. And I’m not only talking about shouting or hitting – derisive and demeaning remarks also count. Speaking up for yourself can and should be stated in a calm, level voice. This has the double advantage of not begetting more anger and being imminently more effective.
Anger shows up at the beginning – if your date is very nice to you but he is all but foaming at the mouth with road rage or being rude to the waiter or others around you, do be warned – I guarantee you will be the target down the road.
TIP: Character assassination is not foreplay
If you have anger, get rid of it before your anger chases away healthy men who might otherwise be attracted. This topic is perhaps best summed up by a country western song title – “It’s hard to kiss the lips at night that chewed your ass all day long”.
Love Basic # 3
Get good at handling rejection. And if rejection has never happened to you, then you aren't trying hard enough.
Hasn't almost everyone been dumped before ? It could be true heartbreak. Or it could be a small rejection: you thought you had a keeper on date one and then he disappeared into lost boy land.
Here is the shirt you need to wear: “ GOT DUMPED “ on the front and on the back: “ GOT LUCKY “. The great thing about being rejected is he knew before you did that you were wrong for each other and saved you time. He rescued you from the #1 love block – wasting time. And haven’t you looked back on a rejection and thought thank you for releasing me because I would not take you back for anything ? Say “thank you” to him. He deserves your gratitude.
Man’s rejection may be God’s protection. You needed an upgrade but weren't willing or able to make it.
Another way of mishandling rejection is not being able to quit. Hasn't everyone worn this t-shirt also. The shirt that reads “ Jumped in too quickly and stayed too long “ on the front and “ Knew it was a bad idea from the start “ on the back?
I am not talking about truly grieving and mourning the loss of long term or profound love. I am attempting to re-direct those who are capable of mourning as a technique for stalling. Well, you can’t have that. To find love in a year, you have to just move on along.
Love Basic # 4
Date dress all the time - It’s a good way to get dates and you never know when you might meet one. No one thinks a mate will be date dressing all the time they are together or even wants it. But everyone believes they are worth having their love make effort to attract and beguile them. This doesn't take much : clean body and hair, some attempt at color coordination, and mostly non-synthetic fabrics are good starts.
Love Basic # 5
Attitude really is everything. Visualize success in love and raise your personal happiness level and you are a giant step ahead. I have seen a lot of people overcome every imaginable barrier because they were determined. Think of Olympic athletes. Are they waiting to go on thinking “ this may not turn out well and I’m not in the mood “ ? Your attitude towards dating is your job, your show. Think like a winner.
A recent study overturned what was formerly believed to be the p
Best predictor of success – intelligence. The new best predictor: the need for cognition. You are more likely to be successful if you crave knowledge. Applied to love, need for cognition means learns how to better at loving, reading books and articles, going to articles and seminars, listening to happily married couples, communicating, dating, and never stop honing your skills.
Embrace these 5 basics and then just have fun. This isn't funereal attendance. Approach each date (and every time you are with a prospective or current love) as exciting potential. Make every effort to enjoy, relax, and bring out the best in both of you.
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